How to Cope With Failure

Failure is simply define as the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. It is commonly viewed as the opposite of success.

You may not like to think of it, but it is a reality that majority of us fail in some point of our lives. It's easy to think negatively when it seems that everything that you do is not good enough. No matter how hard it is to work out a relationship in marriages, friendships, families, careers and even struggling with personal weaknesses and expectations. 

In a case like this, is there any way to avoid painful feelings of failure into our lives? Yes. Just go on reading what I have to say.

The day has just began

in this crowded street

feels like I'm the only one

tongue-tied, hands clasp

bitter-sweet memory of me

slowly fading in the sun

thinking all the days gone by

time has left me hanging by

maybe tomorrow, maybe...

where are all the skies go?

I only got to see the shadows

maybe tomorrow, maybe...

A wonderful realization will be the day

you realize that you are unique in all the world.

There is nothing that is an accident.

You are a special combination for a purpose

- and don't let them tell you otherwise,

even if they tell you that 'purpose is an illusion.'

(Live an illusion if you have to).

You are that combination so that you can do

what is essential for you to do.

Don't ever believe that you have nothing to

contribute. The world is an incredible unfulfilled

tapestry. And only you can fulfill that tiny space

that is yours.

- Leo Buscaglia

How to look at things in a different perspective

Now do you realize that the best way to overcome the guilt about past failures is none other than to start with the basic step of acceptance. When you finally learn to accept and let go of the things beyond your control that is the time you are learning to forgive yourself. I know. I know. We can never rush things to sail smoothly like before. But, we all have to move on. Life is made up of series of unexpected events whether we like it or not. However, without asking too much I encourage you to consider the points below.

1) Know your limits. Failure is not an option. Whether you realize it or not, you still have the power to choose the right decision in reducing your chances to make another mistake or failure. For you to attain these you have to set modest goals for yourself at the same time you are aware of your own limitations. But, there is nothing wrong in challenging yourself to discover and cultivate your abilities. There's always a big room for improvements. Who knows? Even if you are not that good at basketball or can't even sing a note just remember this super philosophy "Everyone's an expert on something!"

2) Don't compare yourself. Sometimes, we tend to overlook other people's success into our own. We don't realize that it only torments our so-called egos to the point where we lose the passion and confidence to the things we are capable to do. We are created equal but shares different strengths and abilities. Galatians 6:4 encourage us to: "Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."

3) Don't let high expectation of other's affect you. These expectations are highly imposed by our immediate family members, friends, teachers, co-workers, colleagues, husband, wife and others. Sometimes, it becomes either our advantage or disadvantage on our growth as a person to uphold our certain capabilities. As an end result, others try too much just to please people. To put it bluntly, people-pleaser are the worst kind of sugar-coated mentality ever exist in our society today. If be yourself is overrated. Let your true color shine through.

4) Be realistic. You must be man enough in facing your biggest mistakes and its consequences. Instead of blaming yourself forever for becoming a total failure. You have to sort things out on what went wrong and do better next time as simple as that. Remember your failures and mistakes doesn't define and make you a lesser person.

5) Avoid taking yourself too seriously. Sometimes, you have to find a sense of humor in simple things up to complex despite all the chaos. Life is boring without something to laugh about at the end of the day. So what if people laugh at you? You have to might as well laugh with them not at your mistakes but the thought of having someone out there to laugh with is the most rewarding thing.

6) Be "Rich in Fine Works". Brighten up a person's day by sharing positive thoughts. Give a little love and all comes back to you. Don't you just sit out there, sometimes you have to be the one to get involve, explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. Just go and have a life!

7) Seize the day. We have to learn how to live life as if it is our last because it is the only way we can appreciate how marvelous the gift of life. As well as counting our everyday blessings literally.

8) Be a blessing to others. No matter how well or bad they treated you be nice and open anyway. Sooner, they will come to realize it in return.

"There are always challenges at every stage in our life, overcoming them is what life is all about"

a poem I wrote thinking about God's perspective on my set of failures

*why can't you love the way you are

the way I loved you as you are

don't put dirt behind your back

nor feel sorry for the things you lack

for I myself knows what's in your heart

so pick up the pieces torn apart

*gather around yourself with faith in your hands

never act according your own wit

for it might cause your own destruction

just follow my instruction, live right through

happy is the man who survive the waves

and softly brush through the shores

*if you could only learn to love yourself

life would be much easier despite the strife

gently wipe the tears from your eyes

for I will grant you everlasting life

in a place where you can never imagine

how beautiful you are in my eyes

©NAIZAOCLARES10/06

How to Cope With Failure by Naiza Oclares is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.